Forever Immortal
by SonnetST
Summary: "My Immortal" is one of the most infamous fanfictions on the planet, terrible, hilarious, poorly written and amazing. These are my attempts to make the story more comprehensible, readable and wholly real. Read and Review, it would make my day!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hey guys! I know no one's really heard from me in a while and this fic is kind of silly, but just go with it!

For those of you that don't know, this fanfiction is a re-write of a very famous fic called "My Immortal", one of the most terrible, awful, amazing, great, hilarious and poorly-written pieces of literature on the planet.

This fic, which you are about to read, is my attempts to make "My Immortal" more comprehensible, approachable and realistic. Some of the characters, details and descriptions have been changed, but each chapter was written side-by-side with the original to retain its original plot and structure.

I suggest reading each chapter side-by-side, reading the original "My Immortal" chapter (which can be found right here on ), then the rewrite by me.

I hope you enjoy!

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><p>Ebony Raven Way was a strange girl, and always stood out around Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, even among her fellow Slytherins.<p>

It wasn't her long, black hair that danced to the small of her back, streaked with violet and crimson or her ice-blue eyes that made her seem so different. There was just something... _odd_ about the girl.

Awaking from the velvety retreat of the luxurious four-poster bed in the girls' dormitory, she slipped on a black strapless top which laced up like a corset, a tiny leather miniskirt and a kinky stretch of neon pink fishnet stockings, taking one last check in the mirror to make sure her violently black, white and red makeup was in place.

Outside, in the courtyards, slivers of silver sleet rained down, their dark clouds shutting out all hope of sunshine. Ebony smiled. She hated the sun.

"Ebony!" a voice shouted behind her.

She turned around to see none other than Draco Malfoy sauntering towards her, a smirk permanently etched into his features.

"What's up, Draco?" she asked shyly, peering up through her bangs.

"Nothing," he replied coyly.

"_EBONY, OVER HERE!_"

"Coming!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Sorry," she told Malfoy, "But I have to go."


	2. Chapter 2

Sleet continued to pour down as she awoke the next morning, clamboring out of bed in a holey oversized t-shirt, which she exchanged for a tight leather sheath dress and seductive fishnet leggings.

"I heard you were talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday," a voice called behind her.

Ebony grinned. How did she just know that the gossip would make it to her best friend Willow before she got to tell the news herself?

"Yeah, so what?" she asked, attempting to be offhanded while tossing her hair into a messy bun.

"Do you like him?" Willow pressed as they continued down to the Common Room.

"No way!" Ebony cried, sinking down into one of the suede couches littered around the room, her shout drawing the attention of more than a few students.

"Uh-Huh, sure you don't," Willow replied sarcastically. "Pretty Boy, 7 o' Clock!" she shouted suddenly.

Ebony barely had time to turn and look before Draco Malfoy was already making his move towards her, his hands shoved definantly into his pockets and his tie only half done up.

"Hi," he said, giving his eyebrows a suggestive raise.

"Hey," Ebony replied, giving her eyelashes an extra batting blink.

"Did you hear about the concert?" he then asked, cutting quickly to the chase, "Some Muggle band decided to play in Hogsmede. Me and the gang were going to crash and cause a bit of trouble for them, but they all wussed out on me. Do you want to come with?"

"No way! That's never happened before!" Ebony cried.


	3. Chapter 3

The night of the concert was upon them, and all of Hogwarts was buzzing with excitement. Only one hundred of the over 700-student population had tickets to go. Those that could go were either prepared to rock out or fire sparks to the stage in protest and those who couldn't were ready to hassle the concert-goers for details the moment they returned.

Ebony pulled her favorite high-heeled boots on over her shredded red fishnets with a sigh. It was no secret any more that she had some not-so-closely-guarded feelings for Malfoy, the gossip reaching even the Griffindors by week's end. Knowing so many people talked about her like that made her feel very morose, so she kept herself to mechanically and methodically straightening each strand of her hair between the metal plates, pulling it out and gelling each lock to spikes. Nails painted a deep black, eyes lined thickly and darkly, and lips covered with a seal of the darkest charcoal, Ebony took one last look in the mirror and sighed again. She would prove herself to Draco tonight, one way or another.

As soon as she reached the massive double-doors at the head of the school building, Malfoy was already there, leaning casually against the shiny black door of a Mercedes-Benz, his smirk seeming even wider and more overconfident than usual.

"Draco," Ebony nodded in regard, not letting on a single word.

"Hello, Ebony," he replied with the same uninterested tone. "My driver will take us to the venue," he explained as the chauffer in question moved to open one of the doors to the back seat. "By all means, after you," Malfoy offered, waving Ebony inside.

"Cigarette, my dear?" he asked, passing an expensive-looking pack of what might have been a foriegn brand.

"Um, thank you," was all Ebony could manage, slipping a thin stick from the pack.

The concert was loud and brutal. Malfoy, being a member of one of the wizarding world's elite, commanded a place in the Standing Room Only section, right in the front of the stage. The crowd moved in excited, agitated waves, throwing Ebony against the guardrails time and time again as showers of sparks, hexes and other unpleasant charms flew towards the band. To everyone's dismay, however, the tour management had the good sense to set up a magical shield around the stage.

"I think I like the lead singer," Ebony shouted over the music, pointing to the musician. "He's kind of pretty."

Draco rolled his eyes.

"What?" she asked.

No reply.

"What?" she demanded again, "I mean, I don't like him more than _you_!" she cried.

"Really?" he asked, in obvious disbelief.

"Really," Ebony nodded, "Besides, does it matter? I don't even know him and he's seeing some blonde, annoying Muggle girl."

The crowd began to settle once they found their magic inneffective, instead dancing and swaying to the music, otherwise enjoying themselves. Draco brought Ebony backstage later that night, after the show had long since ended, getting autographs and still, Muggle photos of the band.

By the end of the night, Ebony could barely keep her eyes open, leaning her head against Draco's shoulder and nearly falling fast asleep, if it weren't for the car running into a huge BUMP-!

"What was that?" she asked blearily. "Where are we?" she asked, looking fearfully out her tinted window.

It didn't look like the Hogwarts grounds at all. No, it must've been the Forbidden Forest!


	4. Chapter 4

"Draco, what's going on?" Ebony demanded

He didn't answer, instead flinging open the door as soon as the car rolled to a stop, not bothering to shut it behind him.

"What the hell?" she growled angrily.

"Ebony," was all he said.

She was about to shout, "What?", but the question got smothered by Draco's lips descending upon hers.

The first kiss was soft and sweet and quick, but the next one, then the next one became rougher and longer, stealing her breath and making her lips tingle with sensation.

She barely even felt his deft fingers work the zipper down the side of her dress, sliding it down to her hips, unhooking her dark, lacy bra and revealing her bare, exposed chest.

"What is going on here?" a voice shouted as a wave of orangey light washed over them.

It was Professor Dumbledore.

He had seen the whole thing.


	5. Chapter 5

"You fools!" Dumbledore shouted, waving the lantern in his hand wildly, "Just what do you think you're doing?"

Ebony couldn't help but sob angry, embarassed tears, tugging up her dress in both fists as Professors McGonnagal and Snape watched on.

"Need I remind you that sexual intercourse is forbidden on school grounds?" the Headmaster asked, his voice cold and unfriendly.

"How could you even _think_ of desecrating the Hogwarts name with your... your base desires!" McGonagall demanded.

Professor Snape didn't say a word, only flicking his oil-slick eyes from Draco to Ebony with matching malice.

"_Because I love her_!" Malfoy suddenly burst out, unable to contain it any longer.

An even heavier silence fell.

"I would like you to return to your dormitories. _Separately._" Dumbledore finally said. "Professor Snape, if you would be so kind as to see if the car for Mr. Malfoy would escort him to another entrance into the building. Ms. Way, with me."

Silently, she followed the Headmaster to the Slytherin dungeons.


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning found Ebony with a pounding headache, a firewhisky hangover looming her my tortured brain. That's when she remembered what happened last night.

Pulling on a tattered old skirt and a stained tank top with the red skull on it from the floor of her dormitory room, she groaned. Today was going to be a long day. She couldn't even make myself spray my hair purple again, it was just too much right then.

In the Great Hall, Ebony chomped on the bowl of Count Chocula Willow insisted she finish, while willingly trying to tune out the all-too-loud chatter that echoed throughout the whole hall and through her throbbing cranium.

But just then, when she thought she could handle today without wanting to crawl into bed and Avada herself, someone elbowed her right in the back, causing her to nearly choke and sending all of the milk and cereal pieces flying right down her front.

"You bastard!" she shouted, whipping around to face who would dare.

Right behind her was a guilty-looking boy, his face painted pale white, his hair spiked and his surprised, wide eyes lined with huge, smudged lines of eyeliner. She couldn't deny he was kind of cute.

"I am so, _so_ sorry!" he cried.

"Uh, that's all right. I guess." Ebony mumbled. "Uh, who are you again?"

"Everyone calls me Vampire. Vampire Potter."

"Why's that?"

"Because I lahve the taste ahv huuuman bluuud!" he replied in a cheerful Bela Legosi accent.

Ebony laughed, "And no relation to the Famous One, I'm guessing," she added.

"Oh, Lord no. Do you know how often I get that? They always assume I'm his brother or something and want his autograph. Pompous ass."

"Sorry, won't bring it up again. My name's Ebony, by the way. Ebony Way."

"Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, Ebony Way," he smiled. "Mind if I join you, then?"

"Sure!"

Vampire sat and they both talked a while, that is until a long, thin shadow crept over the breakfast table.

"Ebony, will you come with me?" Malfoy asked behind her. "I have a surprise for you."

"Uhh, I have to go," she said to Vampire who nodded his goodbye.

"What is it?" Ebony asked Draco excitedly.


	7. Chapter 7

Draco slowly reached for my hand and entwined his pale white fingers in mine as we headed downstairs. I still couldn't help but remember that despairing look on Vampire's face, like his jealous, dismayed gaze was burned into my skull.

I still couldn't get it out of my head as he lead me into his room and locked the door behind us.

nd thbn he n i FKED AL NITE LUNG mkay. ny nme is ebny DRK'NISS DIMENCHA RAVEN way, u betch, I HAV MOR MIDLE NAMZ. an vaumpre IS HARY POTUR, u dumass!

this murning i wke up and DIDNT HAVE A HUNOVUR, VUMPRES DONT GET HANGOVR and put on sumthing TOTES SEXY, lik a corsut w LAC, BECUZ I WER PRETTY SEXY THANGS, NOT TH STUPUD PREPPY THINGZ.

draco cum in my roum nd thn he FUCKED me sasily bc we are in LUV nd we FUCK all da time!

b'loddy mary smith cum in, 'wew, you GO gurl!" she shrieked hornily.

thn we went upstirs and i saw this grl numed meg an i punchid her in tha throat.

AN: im baaaaaak! dont let this luzer tel u any difrnt, my fic is sooooo uch betr thn ths shit. leeve me a GUD coment, u FLAMSERS! FANGS! luv xoxoxoxxosoxo - tara


	8. Chapter 8

AN: this is whut yur aothur rote, nut me! - tara

my nam meg loser akwurd fukwad loser an i hav ugly blond hair so shirt sme ppl thunk im a lesbeen or im a boy or sumthing. my eyes are poo brown nd no one wunts to lok in em or be mah bf. EVUR.

iv nevur eevun HERD of MCR and i thunk hot topik is fur LOSERAS, cuz im a preppi betch an vampiurs are so groz

i was wering an ugli grey swetshirt w stainz al over it cuz i cant eet w/o spiling and some terible grey skinee jeens tht made mi luk like a fadaz nd uglee lesbeen shewz that r also poo brown.

it wuz al sunni and bulshit n i was so efing happi cuz i luv sunshine n rainbowz n my litle poni n shit. al the prepz sed hi 2 mi

"Hi, gurls, how u doin?" i replud so efing creefully bexuz i luuuuuv preps soooooo muuuuchhh."

"meg' sum1 shouted bihind me.

i turned arund.

it was... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... draco malfoy!

"whut the hel do u want, yu ugly jerkwad?" i usked.

"u wana go out wif me?"

"no." i roard angrrly

"ok" he wimperd sadly.

AN: soooooooo much betur than wht she rote b4, rite? leev a coment, fanhs! xxoxox- tara


	9. Chapter 9

Everyone in the classroom terned 2 star.

DRACO I stood, in the center of the clAAssrum. he luked soooo hawt w nuthin on lik th leed singer of blk vail braids but w/o the makup.

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" he cried sexily.

SheI couldn't look at him. Instead, her eyes fell on B'LODDY Mary Smith, who gave me an embarassed, yet understanding smile.

She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood that

"What is going on?" Snape asked coDLY.

AN: Give mi BACK my fIC!

NEVAR U PREPP.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Thanks to the staff who took care of that little... debacle. You guys are the best!

Ebony was mad, sad, confused. She couldn't believe that Draco Malfoy- Draco Malfoy who was all too eager to get to second base the night of the concert, Draco Malfoy who spent hours in the Common Room, pretending to study but would spend the whole time watching her, Draco Malfoy who said he loved her, would cheat on her!

She buried her head into her arms, sitting at the steps overlooking the pitch, the practicing Ravenclaw Quittich team zooming around the stands like a host of dragonflies. Tears forced their way into her vision, fat, wet drops tumbling from her lashes and running her eyeliner into rivers of black.

Suddenly, the sky grew dark. Huge, black clouds roiled overhead, a faint, low cackling rumbling from them.

The Ravenclaw team landed immediately, pulling their uniform robes over their heads to ward off the rain. But Ebony knew this was no orginary storm.

The dense, dark clouds touched to earth, a tornado of smoke leaving behind the figure of a man, pale and scrawny with ugly pinched eyes and flat slits for a nose, like a snake.

"Ebony Way," he hissed, his voice quiet and breathless, "I have been looking all over for you."

"Wh-What do you want?" she stammered, getting up immediately and clutching her book to her chest as if it would protect her.

"You are the one the prophecy spoke of. You are the one who must kill Vampire Potter," Lord Voldemort said, his wheezing rasp sending goosebumps all along Ebony.

"Vampire?" she cried, "No! Please! I can't!"

"You must. If you do not complete this task, I will be forced to take your beloved, the Malfoy boy."

"How did you know?" she demanded.

The Dark Lord nearly smirked, "I have eyes everywhere, my dear. You insult me." His slitted eyes grew grim once more, "Take care of the Vampire boy. You know the consequences should you fail me."

The black clouds tumbled through once more, enveloping Lord Voldemort and whisking him away from her sighs.

At last, Ebony sank to her knees and sobbed.

"Ebony?" a voice called.

"Draco...?" she murmured.

Standing behind her at the top of the stairs, Malfoy looked like a mess himself, his eyes all kinds of an emotional wreck as he moved to sit beside her.

Still feeling bitter, Ebony slid just outside of his reach.

"Are you okay?" she asked at last, breaking their silence.

"No," he answered honestly.

"I'm sorry-" she swallowed back another wash of tears, "I'm sorry I blew up at you because I thought you cheated on me."

"It's okay, Ebony," Draco nodded, his gaze softening, "I understand."


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: **Ah, yes, it's been a while since I've updated, huh? Well, life is a pesky thing to get in the way.  
>And trying to make sense of the following chapters is making my head spin...<p>

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><p>Ebony was shaking all over that day, just thinking about what Voldemort had said. Just remembering that gasping, rasping voice sent shivers up her spine like nothing else.<p>

She couldn't even focus in the middle of band practice, all she could hear was him saying her name, _eeebonyyy, Eeeebonyyy_

"_EBONY!_"

Suddenly, she was ripped out of her trance, all too quickly remembering that she was supposed to be practicing and she hadn't sang one note.

"Are you okay?" Willow asked, her voice heavy with concern.

"_What do you think_?" Ebony screamed, "I've been told that I have to _kill someone _or else Draco will _die_!"

"And _when_ were you planning on telling me this?" a voice roared from across the room.

Draco Malfoy stepped out of his hiding place just beyond the doorframe and Ebony's line of vision, his face red with fury and shame.

"I thought you could trust me! But _no_, you're no better than a filthy, traitorous, _mudblood_!"

Before she could argue, he stormed out of the room.


	12. Chapter 12

Ebony ran to her room, trying to hide her face under an arm so none of the other Griffindors, Hufflepuffs or Ravenclaws could see the mess of tears and eyeliner pouring out of her.

She threw herself onto her bed, burying her head underneath a mass of black, lacey pillows, curling into a tight ball. Wracked with sobs and hugging her knees to her chest, all the memories of Draco kept flashing through her mind- every time his ivory white hand grabbed hers, every time she wiped the cherry red lipstick from his lips after he'd kissed her, every time he'd said her name in that way no one else ever had.

"There must be other factors of this so-called 'prophecy', Headmaster," she heard Professor Snape's muffled voice just outside her door.

"I dunno, Professor, but b'tween 'er n' Harry…" Hagrid's rough voice trailed off.

"Perhaps you should have me talk to the girl," Professor Lupin said, "I of all people should understand-"

"Enough!" Dumbledore's voice cut him off, "I believe Miss Way is in quite a bit of shock right now, and I can assure you that whatever needs to be said can wait until the morning. Gentlemen?"

Their footsteps faded away. They were gone.

Ebony was alone.


End file.
